Moments: 21 Months

Little Man,

Today you are officially 21 months.

Another month added to the best years of my life. 

At 21 months, I think the hardest thing for me to accept is that
although you are still very much my little baby-
you are slowly starting to change and grow into my little boy. 

Your little personality is SO big
that sometimes I can't even believe it. 
My whole world continues to light up every time you flash that BIG smile of yours
and the amount of "just because" hugs and kisses I get, grows by the day.
You are so silly, and now you will do things just to make us laugh.
Simply put- you are the sweetest most handsome boy I've ever laid my eyes on.

At 21 months
you want mommy and daddy to go everywhere with you. 
You take our hand in yours, 
and will drag us around the house to wherever it is you want to be.
Then, no questions, we must sit and play! 

You absolutely love "helping" us cook,
and in the mornings when we wake up before Daddy leaves for work-
helping Daddy make his lunch is one of your favorite things to do.

This past month, you've grown so attached to Daddy, 
and you ask for him all the time when he is gone at work. 
It breaks my heart that you don't fully understand why Daddy leaves everyday,
and that you don't get to spend more time with him.

You love forts, playing outside, and blowing bubbles.

You love going to the library, helping mommy water the plants outside,
and you love looking for snacks in the pantry. :) 

You love to color- however it's more like you love watching us color for you.

You love anything cars, trains, trucks, and planes.
And if the TV is on, most likely we have Thomas the Train or "choo-choos" on.

You love your babies (stuffed animals)
and love wrapping them up, rocking them, "feeding them" and 
and taking them for a walk in the stroller aka shopping cart. 

Your favorite meals consist of macaroni and cheese, grilled cheese,

and spaghettios.

A well balanced diet for sure. :)

You still love helping with the dishwasher, and always tell me when things are "dirty."

You also love telling Mommy and Daddy when things are "hot" and "cold."

You love reading, "helping" mommy on the laptop, 

and taking pictures with Mommy's camera. 

You love looking at yourself in the mirror, and making silly faces.

(You are your father's son, for sure!)

We are not pushing the potty training issue, 

but we do have an adorable Mickey potty in your bathroom that you

use at least once a day. 

My attempt is to slowly warm you up to the idea,

and then like magic one day- you will just want to use it all the time.

:) 

You can say about half the letters of the alphabet, 

and your vocabulary is growing by the day.

You love playing in your playroom,

and building "block roads" for your cars to drive on. 

Obviously I'd be writing for days if I put on here each and every little thing that makes my heart soar with you at this age.

And as expected, along with all the great moments, come more and more challenges.

The past couple months you have really been learning how to test my patience, 

but at the same time teach me patience.

(Like fighting me on diaper changes, and learning the art of stalling at bedtime!)

And because you are at an age where we don't always understand each other

 feelings of frustration creep up on the both of us quickly.

But I truly try to remember to take a deep breath, and take it all in.

Yes, even those not so great moments.

I try to remember

 that as much as I don't understand what it is you are wanting or needing sometimes, 

I know there are also many times you are not understanding 

what I am trying to communicate to you as well. 

I know know day, I will look back, and will want to give anything to be here

in this moment with you all over again. The good and the bad. 

So here we are just three more months until you are 

officially two years old.

You fill my days with more fun, 

and my heart with more love than I ever thought was possible.

As sad as I am to see this time passing-
I look at whats ahead, and can't wait for another holiday filled season with you,
with so many new moments to love and share with you
and so many new memories that we will create together.

Bubba, always keep that bright smile shining.
I love you with all my heart, forever and ever,
Mommy

Simple Things Sunday #017 | Watercolor

This week, 

my little man painted his very first watercolor. 

There is something so warming to the heart, 

when you watch your little one do something for the first time.

Jackson absolutely loved his watercolor paints.

He was beyond intrigued with them,

and was so intense when it came to his painting.

I was also very impressed that he held off for about 10 minutes before 

he started painting his hands and belly.

I'm pretty sure he has a natural talent, 

or maybe I'm just one super proud mommy,

but either way I think it's beautiful, and I can't wait to frame it. 

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I'd love if you'd join along with Simple Things Sunday

hosted by Rebecca of Simple As That.

"Simple things Sunday is about slowing down and capturing life’s everyday details. 

Taking joy in the simple things is the focus and Sunday is the day we gather together to reflect on our experiences from the week and share our photos with each other."

 #SimpleThingsSunday

Head on over to the Simple As That blog and click for details HERE! :) 

Moments

Okay- you are all going to have to bare with me the next few months. 

In just five days, my little man will be turning 21 months. 

3 months until his second birthday. 

As in- two years old.

How. Did. That. Happen. 

As the days pass, and as he keeps getting bigger and bigger

(no matter how hard I pray he doesn't)

I can't help but think back to those days where he was just a dream.

Where I just imagined how perfect he was going to be.

I think back to those first days, weeks, where the only thing I was sure of

was just how much I was head over heels in love with this little baby

that was now my absolute world.

So before I started Simply Sweet Moments, I had a private family blog. 

I was reading through it tonight, because I felt like getting really emotional 

and shedding a few tears over how big Jackson is getting

instead of "sleeping when the baby sleeps." :)

Okay, not really. But I'm not sure what I expected to happen 

by taking a trip down memory lane. 

Anyways, I wrote and still write letters to Jackson.

My hopes are to take in all these little moments that will some day

make up the biggest moments of my life.

So here was my first post, about Jackson's first month.

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Dear Jackson,

I can’t believe you are already one month old.

The past four weeks my mind has been flooded with the most precious moments. 
Moments that I never want to forget. 
Moments that will forever mean the world to me.

Since I became pregnant, I have had a fear inside of me. 
A fear that one day these little moments will fade, 
and I will slowly start to forget. 
Forget the little things that put the biggest smile on my face, 
and that brought a tear to my eye. 
The little things that fill my heart with so much love and happiness. 
From the feeling of your little kicks when you were in my belly.
to the cries I couldn't hold in when seeing you for the first time. 
Your adorable facial expressions, the way your little cries sound. 
and the way my world stops when I'm holding you close.

Little everyday things.

I also fear that I will try so hard to preserve moments with you, 
that I won’t enjoy them to the fullest while they are happening. 
I’ve taken a million pictures, and write down as many thoughts as I can, 
but I think sometimes I have to just let those fears go, and enjoy.

I just want to be able to look back and remember this time in our lives. 
The little details that may fade in time. 
Writing them down helps me know that they are there. 
They are in a place that I can come back to, to remember.
They also lessen the anxiety I get fearing that one day they will be lost.

I want Jackson to be able to look back one day, 
and know just how much we loved him. 
I want him to know that I tried my hardest each and everyday 
to be the best mommy in the world to him. 
I want him to see all the experiences we gave him, 
and all the little things he did that made our hearts melt.

I’ve decided that each month, I will post about “moments” I don’t want to forget, 
along with some of my favorite pictures. So here we go!

Moments: The First Month

I never EVER want to forget the very moment you came into our lives. 

After a stressful delivery (a "sort of emergency" c-section) hearing your little cries 

for the very first time was seriously the most beautiful sound ever… 

so strong. so perfect. 

Seeing your tiny little face for the first time. 
(and touching your little button nose)

even more perfect and handsome than I could have ever imagined. 

When they brought you over to me, my whole world stopped. 

There you were… I couldn't believe it. Our baby boy. 
My heart was bursting with love for you from that very second. 
A love so strong, I never thought was possible. 
I will never forget how alert you were from the very beginning. 
Eyes so open and bright. 

I never want to forget how tiny you were. 
Tiny eyes, ears, mouth, and nose. Tiny little fingers and toes.
Pure perfection.

I never want to forget our stay in the hospital, 
learning how to care for you, taking it all in, before we were off on our own.
I never want to forget the feeling of bringing you home that first day, 
how nervous I was, praying with all I had that I had it in me to be the best Mommy to you. 

I never want to forget stepping into our home for the very first time with you,
thinking- this is it. 
Absolutely everything I've ever wanted.
Starting our lives as a family of three.

Your first night home, not wanting to sleep in your bassinet,
and I was way too nervous to try putting you to sleep anywhere else! 
I sat awake on the couch all night while you slept in my arms. 
(This would be the morning I found out that the news started at 4:30am, haha.) 

It was such an amazing feeling to me,
knowing you felt so safe and comfortable in my arms.
Knowing that you knew I was your mommy,
and that I would hold you tight and keep you safe while you slept.

I never want to forget how tough things were in that first month. 
So many new fears and challenges, overwhelming feelings I had never, ever felt before. 
So many doubts in my mind as well.

I never want to forget just how amazing your Daddy was from the very beginning. 
How much he loved you from the very first second you were born. 
The way his eyes light up each time he sees you, holds you. 
Being a Daddy comes so natural to him, and especially in those first days… 
my eyes would fill with tears just seeing him with you.

I never want to forget your adorable facial expressions in that first month
(especially in your sleep), 
the little cooing sounds that you would make. Your little “smiles.”

I never want to forget the feeling I got when you looked at me the first time, 
the first time our eyes really connected 
and I felt like you knew that this person you were looking at was your Mommy.
One of the most amazing feelings ever.

I never want to forget the peaceful feeling of rocking you to sleep, 
with your head on my chest, or the feeling of your tiny little fingers gripping mine. 
I never want to forget how silly it was, 
that I got so sad when you grew out of your newborn diapers. 
The very first sign that you were getting bigger, was so bittersweet to me. 

And I never want to forget how proud we were on your one month birthday. 
One month old. 
Your daddy was bursting with excitement, and not only got you a couple 
“one month birthday” gifts, but a cookie cake too!

(Obviously we enjoyed that FOR you!)

I can't believe one month has already passed,

but this has been, by far, the most amazing month of my life.

I will be forever grateful that I was chosen to be your mommy,

and I can't wait for all the moments to come in this journey ahead.

We love you little man. 

Simple Things Sunday #016 | Five Year Anniversary

So, my simple moment this week, 

was actually a really big one. 

My husband and I celebrated our FIVE year wedding anniversary.

I met my husband back in 2003 

and I'm going to take the risk of sounding oh so cliche,

and say that the minuet I saw him, 

I knew he was the one I was going to marry. 

I'm not sure if it was his leopard print hair, his twinkling eyes,

or that adorable smile of his...

but I knew. 

Our love story is a good one, 

but it's not your typical meet, fall in love, get married story.

From the beginning we had ups and downs-

and even about a year inbetween where we didn't talk.

But each and every little moment brought us to where we are today.

Over the years, there is one thing I've learned.

Relationships are hard, 

and a lot of work.

We keep a lot of our lives private,
so no one will really know the struggles we've had since being married

but, if these last five years have been any sort of test as to what our 

relationship can handle,

I can honestly say that there is not one thing this world can throw at us, 
that we can't take on, and come out on the other end

stronger than ever. 

I can't believe I am here today, five years married to my best friend,

with the most adorable little man 
who is the biggest lover, and the biggest sweetie.
A family that I once only dreamed of.

We may not have a lot of things,

but we have each other.

And yes, I know it takes more than love to get through life

however

I do feel like love is what makes things worth fighting for. 

Love gives you a reason to want to do and be your best for your family.

Ryan has been everything to me and more since the day we met.

He has the worlds biggest heart,

and would do anything for his family.

I don't ever want to take a second of my life with him for granted.

Since having a baby, I know I put Jackson first in everything I do, 

but I never want a day to go by where Ryan doesn't feel how much I love him,

or see just how much I care about him.

Remember, I said relationships were a lot of work? 

It's all about making an effort to do little things to let your husband know

that even though we haven't been able to sit down and have a quite meal

together in months, 

and even though we can't afford weekend getaways to reconnect, 

and when we are home, raising our voices over Jackson's screaming

just to attempt to have a conversation,

I want him to know how much  I love and appreciate all the hard work and

sacrifices he has made for us, and our family. 

I don't know a life before Ryan,

and can't imagine one without him.

Having him by my side in this crazy, 

crazy life has been one of the best gifts of all.

Happy FIVE Year Anniversary Ryan,

I know this life is just going to keep getting better and better,

and I can't wait for all the years ahead with you by my side.

I love you forever and ever, with every little bit of my heart.

 

"Give me more loving than I've ever had

Make it all better when I'm feeling sad

Tell me I'm special even when I know I'm not

Make it feel good when it hurts so bad

Barely get mad

I'm so glad I found you

I love being around you"

 

"Give me more loving from the very start
Piece me back together when I fall apart
Tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
Make it feel good when it hurts so bad
The best that I've had
And I'm so glad I found you
I love being around you"

Little Moments

I take in each and every little moment with my son. 

Each one, good and bad. 

I try to take those moments, and wrap them up, and bury them deep down

in hopes that I will never, ever forget them.

But I know with time, some memories will fade, 

and that truly makes my heart ache. 

Jackson is just 20 months, but as he is getting older the sweet and not so sweet 

moments are growing more and more by the day. 

So here I am.

Writing one of those sweet moments down, keeping it in a safe place 

a place I know I can come back to at any time. 

Today we had your second dentist appointment. 

(We still have you rear facing in your car seat which sometimes makes things

a little harder when you are fussing and we are not sure why.)

Today was one of those times. 

You started crying and I couldn't figure out what was wrong.

(We later found out it was because there was a fly in the car, that landed on you, 

and you were not happy about it.) 

:) 

So, in hopes to help calm you down, 

I reached behind me and started playing with your little hairs, 

and as I was doing that, you grabbed my finger. 

Then you held on so tight, and stopped fussing. 

(*my heart instantly melted, by the way*) 

Due to the positioning of your car seat

my arm started falling asleep. 

As much as I didn't mind, I slowly pulled my arm away

to give it a break- and as soon as I did

you were reaching out to hold my hand again. 

So, I took one for the team :)

and reached behind me again.

This time you grabbed tightly onto my finger again, 

and rested your sweet little head on my arm. 

I get emotional a lot, and this was no exception. 

You are the sweetest little boy, 

that sometimes I'm not so sure I can even handle it. 

I never, ever want to forget how much these little moments

make my heart feel so full. 

It makes me feel like I'm doing something right. 

You can't say I love you yet,

but in those little moments, I feel like that is your way of telling me.