Sunday, September 14, 2014

Discipline

This story has been bothering me so much, 
and making my heart ache so bad,
that I had to write something. 

When I heard / read the story about Adrian Peterson beating his 
four year old boy, 
(yes, I'm saying he "beat" his child, no, he did not just "spank" him)
I was literally shaking I was so angry.
I had to hold back tears just thinking about the abuse
this poor little boy went through.

(If you're not familiar and want to read the story, you can click here)

I'm not going to go into a ton detail. 
It is honestly one of the most disturbing articles I've read in a very long time. 

I'm just going to say it. You may disagree, and that is fine.
But I do not believe in spanking. At all. Not even for a second.

I feel a "spanking" as many explain it, 
can get out of hand very quickly,
especially when you are already heated and angry.
I feel as though there are many, many other, 
and much more effective forms of punishment. 

And oh my gosh, I get it. BACK IN THE DAY it was done, a lot. 
Many may even say it was normal.
But I would really, really like to think that today in 2014
we could rise above that, and implement one of the 
MILLION other forms of punishment that are out there.

I also do not want to hear (and am so sick of hearing)
 that you were spanked as a child and now due to that
you are a perfect well rounded, respectful member of society. 

You can teach your children right from wrong and to be respectful
 in MANY other ways
other then physical harm and by putting fear into your children.

It may take more work, but I promise you, it can be done.

In most cases, as in this one, I firmly believe that
the Dad was not sorry for what he did. 
He truly believed his kid deserved this form of punishment.
He was not sorry for beating HIS OWN CHILD on his bare skin
oh, only about 15 times.
He was not sorry for the cuts, scrapes, bruises, and bleeding that he caused.

He was smiling in his mug shot, which made my skin crawl.

He talked to his little boy's mother and said the following, 
which all made me feel like I was going to throw up.

Peterson said “To be honest with you, 
I feel very confident with my actions because I know my intent.”
And then went on to describe the incident as a “normal whooping."
He also described some of what he did, and that he does not feel like he did
anything wrong.

The child told his mother that Peterson “likes belts and switches” 
and “has a whooping room.”

The little boy was also reported to have said 
that Peterson put leaves in his mouth when he was being hit with the switch while his pants were down,
 and also expressed worry that Peterson would punch him in the face
 if he reported the incident to authorities.

Kids will be kids. 
From what I read, this was all because he pushed his older brother off his bike.

What. The. Hell.

How on earth would this be considered 
a valid form of punishment for those actions. 
From a little FOUR YEAR OLD and his brother. 

When Adrian Peterson's attorney referred to him as a 
"loving father"
I seriously almost threw up,
and had to stop. I had no desire to read anymore. 

When I think of a loving father, 
I think of my husband, Ryan. 
Who under no circumstance would lay a hand on our child. 
He wouldn't, even for a second, think to cause any physical pain
to his little boy, his son.
Ryan would take a beating for his son, never, ever give him one.

I don't care how you were raised. 
Two wrongs, especially when causing physical harm to your own child,
do not make a right.
I have seen more comments defending Peterson's actions
than about how wrong and abusive he was to his child.

I do understand there are worse cases of child abuse out there-
but I do not feel as though that makes this case and less severe.

I have seen numerous comments stating that he is a football
player and he can do whatever he wants. 

And that is one of the many, many things wrong with our world today.

I pray the people leaving those comments never have a child 
that has to go through what this child did, 
and I'm sure has on more than one occasion.

Can you image a football player hitting you, 
let alone a little boy with no means to defend himself?! 

Can you image hurting your own child so badly, 
that he is afraid of you, and probably fears every time he has to be around you.

I pray Peterson gets the punishment he deserves,
and I pray others can follow this story, see the wrong
 and learn from it. 

And I will most certainly be praying for that sweet, loving little boy-
that he is kept safe and kept far away from his "father"
for the rest of his life.

I can't hear a story like this, and not think of Jackson. 
He is so little, so sweet and SO innocent. 
It make me want to hold him close, keep him safe,
and love him even more if that is possible. 

I know he will grow up, and not always make the right decisions. 
But I can promise you, we will get through those times with him
as a family, in a million other ways. 

At the time I'm writing this-
Peterson as been booked on charges of child abuse and 
it is stated that he could face two years in prison,
which I do not believe is nearly long enough.
__________________________________________

I am very aware your feelings may be different than mine,
and of course that is fine.
You are more then welcome to leave a comment, 
but I'm just going to leave them as is, with no response.
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, 
and this was not intended to start any heated discussion or arguments.

10 comments:

  1. I'm not going to click on that article because I think I'd also find it disturbing. I'm also against spanking or smacking.

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  2. I agree with you 100%! It is such a terrible way to punish a child!

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  3. I can handle like a quick tap on the hand for children, esp if they're trying to play with dangerous objects around the house but spanking/smacking/screaming is very much un-okay in my book. Kids are very easily influenced and they behave the way they see the world behave because, well, that's all they know. So they need to be shown kind words in moments of discipline.

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  4. I was abused as a child, but I am not against spanking. However, I don't think spanking is particularly effective for most children and I believe if it is done in anger it is abusive. What Adrian Petersen did was not a spanking, it was a beating. He is a disgusting human being and I really hope he does not get off because of who he is.

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  5. Spanking and abusing your child is different. Spanking is more of one pat on the bottom and then explaining why you did that and have them understand what they did was wrong. 15 times for spanking is abuse! I can't go read that article it would make me sick!

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  6. I think it's okay to talk about things that may be controversial. I do not believe in spanking personally but rather consequences and discussing why we made the choices we did. With that being said, when I get compliments on how well behaved my children are, I point those compliments toward my children since they made the choice to be well behaved. I don't think spanking is necessarily abuse, I was abused as a child and teen severely but I also got spankings as a child. However, what is the intention of spanking other than the parent releasing their own frustrations? You're not only teaching your children impatience and insecurity. If you do something wrong nobody hits you, so why should adults have the right to inflict pain on a child? It's easier than being consistent and talking to your kids about their actions, and following through with consequences. If spanking worked, then why are so many children still acting out? How about tell them, no, we aren't going to the birthday party/park because you disobeyed. Too hard.

    I can't read articles about abusing children. I want nothing more than for children to feel confident and super safe.

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  7. What he did is despicable! We do spank in our house but only if my kids are being dangerous. It is never done out of anger and I cannot even imagine ever being so angry with my children that I could inflict the kind of pain he did on his poor kids! And trust me they push my buttons daily! I pray that he gets the jail time and the counseling he needs to see his mistake and learn from it. I agree with you that there are so many options for discipline and if spanking is used it should not be your go to method

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  8. Ugh, this kind of stuff makes me sick to my stomach. I can't click the link :(

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  9. I don't believe in spanking either.....as a teacher, I've seen way too many "spanking out of control" stories. As the parent and adult, it's important to find a calm and rational way to deal with discipline.

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  10. Wow, that sounds disturbing, based on what you've written... I agree with your principles.

    xo,
    lauriel
    EyeForElegance.com

    ReplyDelete