I take in each and every little moment with my son.
Each one, good and bad.
I try to take those moments, and wrap them up, and bury them deep down
in hopes that I will never, ever forget them.
But I know with time, some memories will fade,
and that truly makes my heart ache.
Jackson is just 20 months, but as he is getting older the sweet and not so sweet
moments are growing more and more by the day.
So here I am.
Writing one of those sweet moments down, keeping it in a safe place
a place I know I can come back to at any time.
Today we had your second dentist appointment.
(We still have you rear facing in your car seat which sometimes makes things
a little harder when you are fussing and we are not sure why.)
Today was one of those times.
You started crying and I couldn't figure out what was wrong.
(We later found out it was because there was a fly in the car, that landed on you,
and you were not happy about it.)
So, in hopes to help calm you down,
I reached behind me and started playing with your little hairs,
and as I was doing that, you grabbed my finger.
Then you held on so tight, and stopped fussing.
(*my heart instantly melted, by the way*)
Due to the positioning of your car seat
my arm started falling asleep.
As much as I didn't mind, I slowly pulled my arm away
to give it a break- and as soon as I did
you were reaching out to hold my hand again.
So, I took one for the team :)
and reached behind me again.
This time you grabbed tightly onto my finger again,
and rested your sweet little head on my arm.
I get emotional a lot, and this was no exception.
You are the sweetest little boy,
that sometimes I'm not so sure I can even handle it.
I never, ever want to forget how much these little moments
make my heart feel so full.
It makes me feel like I'm doing something right.
You can't say I love you yet,
but in those little moments, I feel like that is your way of telling me.