Monday, August 18, 2014

20 Months

Dear Jackson,

This weekend you turned 20 months. 
I'm not sure why, but I've had a really hard time with this one.

I'm not sure if it's the "2" now instead of a "1"
but 20 months just sounds so big.

And it doesn't help that 
in just four short, short months you will be two years old.
I can't grasp just how fast time is going.

Multiple times this past week, as I was rocking you to sleep
tears fell from my eyes.

You truly amaze me each and every day.
You are growing so big, and so smart right before my eyes.

I wish I could freeze these moments
and always remember them with such strong detail
so that years from now when you are big and grown
I can look back and remember them
as if they were happening for the very first time. 

How sweet it sounds when you say "yeah", "no" and "more"
How my heart feels like it's going to burst when you 
wrap your little arms around me and squeeze so tight.
The way you always want to be right by daddy and me. 

Your sweet little kisses,
Your big bright eyes,
and the most contagious laugh I've ever heard.

The adorable way you say "done" and "hot"
and how cute you get when you know you are doing something
you are not supposed to. 

The heartmelting way you want to help with 
literally everything.
The heartbreaking way I look at you each day, 
just a little bigger and older than the last.

Your love for the kitties and the dishwasher.
The way you have to bring your "buddies" to your bedroom at night
(aka your cars)
and put them on the dresser so you see them first thing in the morning.

The way you pretend to hurt yourself, 
and then say "ut-oh"
while walking towards us, so we can give you a kiss.
And the way you pretend to fall,
then laugh so hard.

The way I still get to hold you tight,
and rock you to sleep each and every night. 
The way you feel laying on me, sleeping so sound.
How you will just lay next to us and snuggle up close,
especially when reading books. (Lots of books!)

The stories Daddy tells me after he's taken you 
for a boy's night to a baseball game.
The biggest smiles you get when Daddy comes home from work.
The way you don't want to leave his side
once he is home.

The way you mimic everything and every sound we make,
and all the new words you try to say that just come out
like your own foreign language.
You say them over and over again, 
like we are the silly ones for not understanding. 

How you can now walk with us places, 
while holding our hands so tight.
I always catch you looking up at me, 
with a big smile, 
and inside I know you are feeling like such a big boy.

The sound of "mama" no less than a hundred times a day.
The way you look at me, with a big smile and love in your eyes
a million times a day.

There are so many more moments I just never want to forget, 
and that is still one of the biggest fears I struggle with.

I take time to enjoy every moment, 
but they are just passing too quickly. 

I love you Bubba Bear. 

I pray you continue to enjoy each and every day,
and each and every little moment.

I love you with all I have,



  1. How sweet. Always cherish these little moments, they grow up too fast!

    1. Thank you for the sweet comment, they grow up WAY too fast! Wahh! :)

  2. He is too cute! My 6 year old saw his picture over my shoulder and said "aww, who's baby is that! He's so cute!"

    1. Oh my gosh Lelia, that is way too cute! Tell your little one thanks! :)

  3. Too sweet. Your boy is lucky to have such a talented mama.

  4. Love that hair and that he sleeps with cars! One of mine sleeps with a few special leggos. Very nice reflection about your little one.

  5. He's going to love reading this someday!

  6. wow erica! such a beautiful way to capture all the precious moments!

  7. Oh so sweet! He will cherish your words when he's older. XO

  8. This is so sweet!!! What a little cutie pie!

  9. This makes me so excited to be a mummy one day. This is all so cute!

    Katie <3

  10. I miss writing these letters! I keep saying I will start doing them every once in a while again but never do it. Thanks for the motivation!